What is a Death Doula or Death & Dying Companion?

A death doula brings non-medical support to someone who is dying, serving as a practical, emotional and spiritual companion and advocate. Death doulas identify resources and choices to be made by the one who is dying and their care team at a time when everyone may feel overwhelmed by navigating feelings, dynamics and logistics. Death doulas are not a licensed profession and each death doula brings their own experience, talents and skills to their practice. I prefer to identify myself as a death & dying companion, rather than a death doula, because of the history and context around the word "doula".

What is the difference between hospice and death doula or companion services?

A death & dying companion is not a replacement for hospice, and you don't need to be engaged with hospice to work with a death & dying companion. Primarily, hospice provides medical support while a doula or companion is entirely non-medical support. Many hospice nurses, chaplains and social workers have been serving as death doulas since the birth of hospice, however, it's not a given that hospice would offer this additional layer of care. A death & dying companion can help you to integrate hospice care and help to open up additional avenues of communication between you, hospice and your care team.

When is the right time to start working with you?

I offer support and conversations around death & dying at any stage of life. When companioning, I work with people who are preparing for their own death within a year but there is no set time frame for this work. I also support people who have experienced a sudden death of a family or community member, bringing resources and helping to identify choices for after death care and grief support. My deathtending classes and individual consults can happen at any stage of life, in fact, the sooner the better! See the next question about why we might want to think about death and dying sooner rather than later.

Why would I want to start thinking about my death?

Death can come without warning so now is a good time to think about what is important to you before you go. Also, in my experience, starting to take actions that feel necessary to do before I die has given me much more appreciation for each day that I am still here as well as a sense of purpose for my time. I feel like sometimes death can be an odd kind of friend in this way, helping us to live more fully. It is a precious thing to have time to think about and prepare for our own deaths, many do not have this option. 

How do I get started working with you?

Contact me and we can talk about what kind of support would be best at the moment and if we are a good fit for working together. I look forward to speaking with you.